we lost our three little angels, Jack, Libby and Philip, when they were born at 24½ weeks. The nursing and most of the chaplain staff that cared for them encouraged them to make memories with the family that had too soon arrived and slipped away. As they went through the motions numbed by their experience, they were grateful to have a caring staff to assist them. The Roses bathed and spent time cuddling with each of their children, Jack, Libby & Philip. Do to recovery complications, Jim and Jessica remained at the hospital for a couple extra days and spent time each day with their children. The immense joy is finally meeting the little ones they had waited for six year for was sharply contrasted by the overwhelming devastation that they would have to say goodbye to their sweet angels. Days later they left the hospital with ten rolls of pictures and many tokens to validate their short lives, yet their arms were achingly empty for the three tiny babies that had changed their lives forever.

A month later they attended a support group and met a couple that had lost twins the same week the triplets died. Right down the hall had been another couple suffering the same heartbreak and, after hearing their story, both couples were shocked to discover how different their care had been. This sweet family had tried for so long to have a child and was blessed with a sweet boy and girl only to watch their tiny bodies struggle to stay alive. As they watched their finally breaths and said goodbye, there were no offers to bathe their children and spend time with them. They received a similar box of tokens to remember their children, but there was no mistaking the sobbing that erupted from that mother as Jessica and Jim shared the experience of bathing their children and this mother discovering that she could've had that chance to care for her children like that also.

The support group offered mixed healing for the Roses- the opportunity to find a safe haven where they could share and cry, but also the frustration of meeting so many families who had little to treasure of their tiny ones. Some had a roll of pictures, some footprints and a blanket, others a locket of hair and a fading Polaroid, while some had only a fuzzy ultrasound printout. It just wasn't enough. There had to be something more for these families. Some kind of toolkit to lead them through the process of saying goodbye and making memories was needed. The medical community needed to hear that there was a gross lack of education as to what bereaved families needed to begin healing.  

The Roses gathered information on standards of care, hospital policies and procedures, other parents' perspectives on loss, and loss statistic. They were amazed to find out that aside from the required paperwork, the encouragement that families receive to make memories and spend time with their child is solely based on the comfort of the caregiver. They set out on what has become a lifelong journey to speak out for the rights of bereaved families to care for their child, to validate their hurt and the importance of each little life, be it ever so brief, and to encourage through education, caregivers to help parents to parent their child and plan a precious goodbye.

The Three Little Angels Foundation is dedicated as a love letter in memory of Jack, Libby & Philip Rose, and for all the other little lives that we hold in our hearts even when they have disappeared from our arms.

 


Have you or a loved one recently experienced a tragedy? Below are resources for parents, families, and caregivers. We hope that these resources will not only comfort you but will educate you as well so you can help others.

Resources for Parents

Resources for Families

Resources for Nurses and Caregivers